Time passes and you meet people who leave you and move on, but sometimes now matter how you part there is a residue.
Something so special that even though the relationship ended some time ago this residue will remain unique.
Our relationship was fairly new. I knew I was in trouble from the beginning when I met this tall glass of water. He was as I used to say the “Brawny Man” only the real life version of the plaid wearing hunk on the outside of the paper towels. Ladies don’t pretend like you don’t know who this is. I knew I liked the paper towels because they were sturdy and worked well as advertised. I never knew there was an actual “Brawny Man “ out there. He had me the day I met him in his softball uniform. We were set up by a mutual friend and he played it cool as he inhaled his Marlboro, “Nice to meet ya.” Four words spoken with a slow Sam Elliot soothing voice that immediately had my attention. I digress.
Looking back I definitely was into him way more than he was into me. I remember I never really knew what he was thinking as he was a man of very few words, until valentines day rolled around and he came to my door with chocolate and a card. I was looking for flowers.. He sensed my disappointment , “ I didn’t get you flowers their for the dead.” he would say.
Still early in the relationship we were sitting in my car at the airport waiting to pick up my girls from their trip to visit grandma in Florida. We sat in silence unless I spoke, and it was too long a wait for an uncomfortable silence.
So I said, “have you ever been in love? “ He looked out the window inhaling his cigarette carefully blowing the smoke away from me. He was considerate like that. Up until this moment we had said those words but there was still an uncertainty, and I of course being who I am needed to know.
A moment passed, I was sure I had pushed the envelope, and then…
He said it.
“You mean the give a kidney kind of love?” Holy shit it wasn’t until that very moment that I knew I had to have that kind of love. How did I not know about this kind of love. I lived my whole life and no one ever told me about this love.
“YES” I said that kind, again the silence, that almost killed me.
“Once” he said, again with the silence. Of course my mind began racing in circles … does he love me like this would he give me his kidney, am I kidney worthy?
Suddenly I blurted it out “ Am I the give a kidney kind of love?”
“Oh hun,” he realized what i was saying. Oh no don’t say it I’m not kidney worthy I knew it. He stopped me.
Amused by this his began to laugh that deep raspy laugh that cuts me to the core. “Hun, yes its just you don’t want my kidney with all the drinking and smoking I do, will get you a healthy kidney”
Now as we are no longer together for many reasons, but the residue of this conversation changed me forever. I will always know the give a kidney kind of love.